“You've got no sense of humor.""I'm going to laugh really hard after I kick your ass.”

“Put all your eggs in one basket... the handle's going to break. Then all you've got is scrambled eggs.”

“I can handle it. But it stinks, if you ask me, really stinks, that you get to go out somewhere drinking beer while I'm stuck at Baby Central. Just because you have a penis.""We'll think fondly of you over beer, me and my penis."She ate a little more, then smiled slowly. "You've still got to be in the birthing room when she pushes it out.""Shut up, Eve.""Your penis won't save you then, Pal.”

“Fine, you do that, and you tell them that at the very first opportunity, I'm coming down there and killing all of them. Mass murder. And after they're all dead, I'm going to kick the bodies around, dance on top of them, and sing a happy song. No jury will convict me.”

“You tell Roarke you were tagging me for this? Or is he going to get riled up so I have to kick his ass again?""Oh, is that what you were doing when you had to be carried out of the room unconscious?""I like to remember it that I was just getting my second wind.”

“I'm going to see if Morris has a spare spine lying around you can borrow if you're scared to speak to that high-heeled, smug-ass bitch, Peabody.”

“Nothing ever seems too bad, too hard or too sad when you've got a Christmas tree in the living room. All those presents under it, all that anticipation. Just a way of saying there's always light and hope in the world.”