“I remember a time when a cabbage could sell itself by being a cabbage. Nowadays it’s no good being a cabbage – unless you have an agent and pay him a commission. Nothing is free anymore to sell itself or give itself away. These days, Countess, every cabbage has its pimp.”

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

“A faithful woman looks to the spring, a good book, perfume, earthquakes, and divine revelation for the experience others find in a lover. They deceive their husbands, so to speak, with the entire world, men excepted.”

“I'm not afraid of death. It's the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life.”

“An infant is a seed. Is it an oak seed or a cabbage seed? Who knows. All mothers think their children are oaks, but the world never lacks for cabbages.”

“The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.”

“The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something.”