“I was always amused by the prayers of the saintly. “God do this, God don’t do that.” I thought God probably laughed at them too, unless He was a little annoyed by their temerity.”

“What the hell are you getting so upset about?' he asked her bewilderedly in a tone of contrive amusement. 'I thought you didn't believe in God.'I don't,' she sobbed, bursting violently into tears. 'But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him to be.'Yossarian laughed and turned her arms loose. 'Let's have a little more religious freedom between us,' he proposed obligingly. 'You don't believe in the God you want to, and I won't believe in the God I want to . Is that a deal?”

“Unless you are willing to do the ridiculous, God will not do the miraculous. When you have God, you don’t have to know everything about it; you just do it.”

“The Holy ... Machine?" I mumbled. "Yes." She gave a little laugh. "A great miracle. He is a kind of robot, but God has given him a soul - and not an ordinary human soul either, but the soul of a saint or an angel!" "But ... I thought robots were ... bad ..." "Yes, of course, and Mary Magdalene was a whore. To God, all things are possible.”

“Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much.”

“If I ask God to punish my enemy with vengeful prayers,then He is fair to allow the enemy to do the same for me.”