“Bastard hits harder than a fucking freight train."I just smiled. "I know.”

“I hope it's the worst fuck you've ever had, you ruthless, manipulating bastard.""Pillow talk already?" he replied with a slight grin.”

“Why would I seek to break your heart?” “Because you can be a merciless bastard at times,” I answered honestly. A smile flitted across his lips. “True, but I want you with me.”

“I tried to tell you that it's not Spade in there.""You could have tried harder. I absolutely never needed to know that Ian was pierced down there.”

“A vampire private investigator?” he repeated. “You’re putting me on, right?” “I know you have vampire hit men, so why wouldn’t you have vampire private investigators, too?” she flared back. “I can’t just run an ad with Nathanial’s description on it titled ‘Have you seen this soul welsher?”

“I resisted the urge to hurl my plate at him. “Of course not, Ian. It’s just that normally at this hour, Bones and I are fucking like rabbits, so I get twitchy when I have to wait for him to climb aboard.”

“See, Don, I have this question, and I hope you’ll be honest with me.”He pulled at the end of his eyebrow. “I think you know you can count on my honesty.”“Can I?” I asked with an edge. “All right, then tell me: How long have you been fucking me?”That caused him to stop tugging his brow. “I don’t know what you’re saying—”“Because if I was going to fuck you,” I interrupted, “I’d get a bottle of gin, some Frank Sinatra music…and a crash cart for the heart attack you’d have. But you, Don, you’ve been fucking me for years now, and I haven’t gotten any liquor, music, flowers,candy, or anything!”