“Fourteen hundred and thirty-one.” I blinked. “What's that?” “The year I was born, which is not, as you'll note, yesterday.”

“If anyone's under a spell, Justina, it's me. Your daughter put one on me five years ago, and I haven't broken free of it yet. Oh, and you'll be delighted to know, we've decided to resume our relationship. Don't bother with congratulations—trust me, your expression is congratulations enough.”

“Maybe I was worrying for nothing. Maybe it had just been casual for him, and I wouldn't even have to tell him it couldn't happen again. After all, the man was a couple hundred years older than me and a former gigolo. I certainly hadn't robbed him of his virginity.”

“Mom, this is Annette. Back in the seventeen hundreds when Bones was a gigolo, she used to pay him to fuck her, but after more than two hundred years for banging him, now they're just good friends." p”

“You don’t know where west is?” Sarah asked with disbelief.I wasn’t going to drop her to the ground. I was going to throw her. “Do I look like I have a compass on me?”Sarah waved a hand at the sky. “Can’t you use the stars to navigate?”“I ’m twenty-nine years old, not two hundred and twenty-nine. I navigate by GPS, MapQuest, or TomTom. Not the fucking stars, ’k?”

“There were words for what he meant to me, but if I studied every language ever spoken for the next thousand years, I still wouldn’t find enough of them to describe it.”

“Do you know what you’ve done?” I asked in a bland tone. Annette gave mean inquiring look. “You’ve gotten on my last nerve.”The table went crashing into her before she could blink, and then my fist found a home inher perfectly arranged hair.”