“If this was a dick measuring contest, I found myself thinking numbly, then I was Pee Wee and she was John Holmes.”

“I can't take a dick-measuring contest.". . ."I know Meshack has a big one. And from what I've felt, Zulu is big. Both of your dicks are equally big.”

“Internal bleeding?""Indeed," she said, gesturing to a bag of light red fluid. "You pee blood as we speak."I felt down to my nether regions and blushed. There was a tube in my wee-wee. Rei smiled gleefully.”

“Weetzie and My Secret Agent Lover Man and Dirk and Duck and Cherokee and Witch Baby and Slinkster Dog and Go-Go Girl and the puppies Pee Wee, Wee Wee, Teenie Wee, Tiki Tee, and Tee Pee were driving down Hollywood Boulevard on their way to the Tick Tock Tea Room for turkey platters.”

“There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway.”

“My mashed potatoes come with a masturbation sound you pour on top, like gravy. I got the recipe from Pee Wee Herman.”