“Next to her, I felt like Carrot Top in drag.Cat re: Annette”

“Poor, chubby Annette Kelper, who desperately tries to pretend that nobody notices the fact that she’s balding on top of her head. That’s right. Look closely — balding just like a man. Perhaps Randy feels sorry for chrome-dome Annette.”

“Gregor lifted the knife and slammed it down. The tops of the carrot rolled across the table, some hitting the floor."What are you doing?""I'm chopping carrots.""Gregor, they are carrots! not tree branches.""I fail to see the difference.”

“I'm a perfectly good carrot that everyone is trying to turn into a rose. As a carrot, I have good color and a nice leafy top. When I'm carved into a rose, I turn brown and wither.”

“The Duchess set about studying Annette and shortly found her adversary's tragic flaw.Chocolate.”

“How're the Broncos doing?""Like a bunch of carrots.""Is that bad?""Can carrots play baseball?""I guess not.""Then you have your answer.”