“nobody could catch a vampire on a motorcycle.”

“Mencheres. Bones co-ruler, grandsire, Master vampire of incredible power, and the ally who unnerved me the most, had telekinetically held me down so Bones could boink me into submission enroute to the vampire holding cell? Sweet holy Jesus, let me have hallucinated hearing that!”

“For some, vampires are still firmly in the 'evil, scary' column. However, in recent decades, vampires also run the gamut from evil to morally ambiguous all the way to fangless and vegetarian. I think part of their appeal lies in their versatility. Vampires can be the villain, the hero, and everything in between, all depending on the writer's whim. You'll also never hear me say that anyone is doing vampires 'wrong' because unless a real vampire stands up and sets the record straight, it's anyone's game as a far as defining them in fiction.”

“He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself.”

“A vampire private investigator?” he repeated. “You’re putting me on, right?” “I know you have vampire hit men, so why wouldn’t you have vampire private investigators, too?” she flared back. “I can’t just run an ad with Nathanial’s description on it titled ‘Have you seen this soul welsher?”

“I'm great as bait! All the vampires want to eat me!”

“Why do these crazy vampires keep trying to collect me?”