“Or for the gorgeously bare vampire to give her a sensual massage while feeding her peeled grapes.”

“If she were human, I’d judge her to be in her mid-forties. That didn’t sit in a negative column with her, though, because she gave off a smoldering, ripe sensuality that made youth look like a boring waste of time.”

“Dead or not, you must be bored with women telling you how you look like the hottest, most exotic wet dream they’ve ever had. No wonder the thought of you, grapes, and some scented massage oils crossed my mind – and if you drop that towel again, I’m going to need a cold shower.”

“Nice to meet you, mate, and here's some advice: Don't even think about it. You try anything with her and I'll neuter you with my bare hands. ”

“Do it your way, but I suggest another one. You could go ahead and beat her bloody, or…you could give me such loud, screaming orgasms that the sound of them blisters her ears. If you have any former-whore-turned-promiscuous-vampire tricks you’ve been holding back, well, bring them on. I only have one stipulation: You’d better outperform any service you gave to her or anyone else, because if I don’t wake up tomorrow red in the face from embarrassment at what you did to me, I’ll be disappointed.”

“Whatever would give you the idea that I'm her damn brother?”

“Maximus grunted. "Some days you remind me of Vlad.""Meaning?" I said sharply."Your obsession with revenge. Next you'll want to drive a pole through that vampire once you find her."The thought was appealing, but...”