“No she wouldn't," Miles said. "An ass is an ass”

“I'd spent five minutes looking at Twitter once and felt I'd wandered into a poker game where everyone immediately displayed their hands against the cool green of the felt.”

“I'm very sorry for the inconvenience."And he shot the concierge once between astonished eyes.”

“She said I'd better not make her unhappy because I oughta know that she's never unhappy alone.”

“Tramp stamp. A tattoo in the center of a woman's lower back. Also referred to as a "California bumper sticker." The germans refer to this as "arschgeweih," which translates as "ass antler." Bravo!”

“Jose: Do not drop me senorJeff:i wont drop you,joseJose:then i be jose jalapeno on the floorPeanut:do a little tap dance and we got salsa!Jeff:Thats terrible!Peanut:not with the right chips its notJeff:stop it! im sorry josejose:its okayjeff: okayJose:ill kick his ass laterpeanut:i'll turn ur ass into guacamolejeff: stop it!peanut: i will stir u with ur own stick!jeff:stop it!peanut: this is the way we stir the guac stir the guac stir the guac. OLE!!”

“Oh, so how did the marrige counsling go?Well let's just say after it was over there where two people who thought I was an ass. And i was paying both of 'um.”