“. . . Mrs. Lambchop sighed and shook her head. "You're at the office all day, having fun," she said. "You don't realize what I go through with the boys. They're very difficult."Kids are like that," Mr. Lambchop said. "Phases. Be patient, dear.”

“People should think twice before making rude remarks," said Mrs. Lambchop. "And then not make them at all.”

“She stared at me "You have a message," she said. "On you machine."I looked over at my answering machine. Sure enough, the light was blinking. The woman really was a detective."It's some girl," La Guerta said. "She sounds kind of sleepy and happy. You got a girlfriend, Dexter?" there was a strange hint of a challenge in her voice."You know how it is," I said. "Women today are so forward, and when you are as handsome as I am they absolutely fling themselves at your head." Perhaps an unfortunate choice of words; as I said it I couldn't help thinking of the woman's head flung at me not so long ago."Watch out," La Guerta said. "Sooner or later one of them will stick." I had no idea what she thought that meant, but it was a very unsettling image."I'm sure you're right," I said. "Until then, carpe diem.""What?""It's Latin," I said. "It means, complain in the daylight.”

“Dex,” she said. “Are you all right?”“I’ll be fine, Sis,” I said, feeling somewhat light-headed, “if you’ll just turn off that horrible music.”

“Lesson for the day, kids: hangovers are real, and they are the opposite of fun.”

“She shook her head slowly. “I don’t believe you. You can’t be a cop.”“Not a cop.”“Federal agent?”“FBI.”“Even more unlikely.”“J. Edgar rolls over in his grave every day, but that’s the way it is.”

“I like the color of the Caribbean." I paused and absorbed the warmth of her smile before adding, "Dogs, not cats. Boxers, not briefs. Redheads over brunettes..." I glanced sideways at her, and she met my gaze. "I have a penchant for girls in velvet jackets... and I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."She choked in surprise, sputtered, and shook her head."You see? This is what I mean.""What?""Nobody talks like that. I barely know you."I was genuinely confused. Didn't girls like to hear this stuff? Besides, it was, conveniently enough, the truth. "Well, I talk like this. And you should be used to people telling you you're beautiful.""Well, I'm not," she said, and she sounded like she was getting irritated with me again. The feeling was mutual.I leaned against the wall and pulled up one knee. "Okay. I take it back. You are completely average. Dull, dull, dull. Unremarkable in every way.”