“A smart man only believes half of what he hears, a wise man knows which half.”

“There ain't many troubles that a man caint fixWith seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six.”

“The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.”

“I would be utterly emabarrassed to have others around me hear my half of what can only be described as pedestrian. "Yes, the elevator has just pulled up to the 16th floor." Do these people have the ability to go, for say, an eight- or ten-minute stretch without being in contact with someone else? What are they afraid of? Confronting their own thoughts?”

“A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.”

“A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.”

“All places that the eye of heaven visits/ Are to a wise man ports and happy havens:/ Think not the king did banish thee:/ But thou the king. --Richard II”