“Shut up or i'll kill you by Achmed the dead tarries.”

“Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.Jeff Dunham: Who's there?Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!”

“Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'No no no no no' JeffYou don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff”

“Achmed: Two Jews walk into a bar... Jeff: No no no no no Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard.”

“So Achmed if you've been in my suitcase this entire time how have you been getting through security? Oh thats easy they open the suitcase and i say 'ello my name is lindey lohan!”

“Silence! I kill you!”

“Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today?Peanut: Yes we had a great day!Jose: No we did not.Peanut: YesJose: NoPeanut: YesJose: NoPeanut: YesJose: No we did not have a good day.Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day!What?Jeff: Did you have a good day?Peanut: YesJose: NoPeanut: Shut upJeff: A good day?Peanut: YesJose: NoPeanut: Shut upJeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa.Peanut: I took him to the spa!Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer.Peanut: It's the same thing!!!”