“Be yourself and people will like you.”

“Then one day, this kid named Darren Walsh touched the Cheese with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Cheese Touch. It's basically like the Cooties. If you get the Cheese Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. The only way to protect yourself from the Cheese Touch is to cross your fingers.”

“If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.”

“I'm basically one of the best people I know.”

“But the thing I’m finding out is some people don’t really appreciate it when you’r trying to be helpful.”

“I like turtles!!!!”

“I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.”