“Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!”

“You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.”

“If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.”

“Dear Aunt Loretta,Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas?I love the way the pants look on my legs!All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever!Sincerely, Greg”

“So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.”

“I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.”

“See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.”