“I'm basically one of the best people I know.”

“Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.”

“The best person I know is Myself.”

“When you're used to having electricity and then all of a sudden it's taken away, you're basically just one step from being a wild animal.”

“I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.”

“Dear Aunt Loretta,Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas?I love the way the pants look on my legs!All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever!Sincerely, Greg”

“I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,”