“Dexter the Magnificent, who doth bestride the world like a Colossus, many lovely corpses at his feet, brought to you in live color just in time for the evening news. Oh, Mama, who is that large and handsome man with the bloody saw? Why, that's Dexter Morgan, dear, the horrible man they arrested a little while ago. But Mama, why is he smiling? He likes his work, dear. Let that be a lesson to you--always find a worthy job that keeps you happy.”

“Quirky, funny, happy-go-lucky dead inside Dexter. No longer Dexter with the knife, Dexter the Avenger. Not until next time.”

“I'm a very neat monster." ~Dexter Morgan”

“And what did you do last night, Dexter? Oh, I played with my dolls while a friend chopped up my sister.”

“There is a simple, logical explanation,' I said to myself. And because you never know who else is listening, I added, 'And there is nothing under the bed.'" --Dexter”

“... Dexter the sofa spud ...”

“A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches”