“I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?”

Jeff Lindsay

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“First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning.”


“I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?”


“Of course, having information to use is one thing. Knowing what it means and how to use it is a differentstory.”


“Have you ever noticed that every now and then you'll overhear an amazingly clear declarative sentence when you're out in public, spoken with such force and purpose that you absolutely yearn to know what it means, because it is just so forceful and crystalline? And you want to follow along behind whoever just spoke, even though you don;t know them, just to find out what that sentence means and how it would affect the lives of the people involved?”


“I mean, really: what kind of person could possibly dislike me?”


“But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.”