“Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.”

“I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.”

“Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.”

“Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you?”

“I poked at the white paper bag. There was nothing left inside. Just like me: a clean crisp outside and nothing at all on the inside.”

“you can’t use logic on human behavior.”

“Nothing else loves me, nor ever will. Not even - especially - me. I know what I am and that's not a thing to love.”