“(about cats) They also resist our calls to come, to move, to obey, to present themselves, to do all the things that dogs do so easily. This drives some people crazy. Cats do not even care what drives us crazy!”

“Do you know why I like dogs and not cats? Because whenyou’re talking to dogs, they don’t walk away in order to rimthemselves.~Austin to Cai's cat Begone Cai's, also known as the "fucking hairball with the crazies.”

“Come on, let's go. Crazy people do crazy things.”

“Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it's often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.”

“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”

“You shoulda married someone, a whole lot more like you-- drink coffee in the little cafes, and you could go out shopping too. I shoulda married someone, who likes to camp and fish, and make love for two days straight, And you say, "don't you wish".You drive me crazy, with all the things you do and do not do. Umm, I love you so much, I'm gonna drive you crazy too.”