“When you meet a pretty teenage girl, make a beeline for the mother. I’ve found it to be usually very rewarding.”

“The beef industry has contributed to more American deaths than all the wars of this century, all natural disasters, and all automobile accidents combined. If beef is your idea of "real food for real people" you'd better live real close to a real good hospital.”

“Suffering isn't ennobling, recovery is.”

“I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974.”

“You don't understand me. I'm a teenager. I've got problems!”

“The word triglyceride is derived from the fact that when your body transports fat molecules from one place to another, it generally attaches three fat molecules to a glycerine molecule (hence, tri-glyceride) before sending them into the watery environment of the bloodstream.”

“-Here's a pretty shell for you. -Oh, thank you my baby.-Look, here's another one!-Thank you.-Look at this pretty one!-Thank you.-Here's a REALLY pretty one.-Um, thank you.”