“When you meet a pretty teenage girl, make a beeline for the mother. I’ve found it to be usually very rewarding.”

“I was annoying her and found it pretty amusing. Girls didn’t usually treat me with unadulterated loathing, even when I was showing them the door.”

“Short first pregnancies do not occasion criticism in our valley, for it is widely known that the good Lord often makes first pregnancies mercifully brief as His reward to the girl for having preserved her chastity until marriage. Subsequent pregnancies, however, usually run their full terms, which only makes sense, as the very fact that they are not first pregnancies means that the mother was not chaste at the moment of conception.”

“If there’s any girl in the world more determined than you, I’ve yet to meet her.”

“she’s not as pretty as you,” I said“But she’s a simpler girl,” my mother whispered.”

“I’ve always found wildlife very calming-- except when animals are eating each other, of course.”