“Whenever I travel to the South, the first thing I do is visit the best barbecue place between the airport and my hotel. An hour or two later I visit the best barbecue place between my hotel and dinner.”

“As a leftover sixties liberal, I believe that the long arm and beady eyes of the government have no place in our bedrooms, our kitchens, or the backseats of our parked cars. But I also feel that the immediate appointment of a Special Pastry Prosecutor would do much more good than harm. We know the free market has totally failed when 89 percent of all the tart pastry, chocolate-chip cookies, and tuiles in America are far less delicious than they would be if bakers simply followed a few readily available recipes. What we need is a system of graduated fines and perhaps short jail sentences to discourage the production of totally depressing baked goods. Maybe a period of unpleasant and tedious community service could be substituted for jail time.”

“But the goal of the arts, culinary or otherwise, is not to increase our comfort. That is the goal of an easy chair.”

“As a wee two hundred-year-old, I decided the south of England was much to my liking. A wee bit warmer and I prefer barbecuing my English sheep.”

“I live my own life and nurse my own wounds. It's not the best way to live. But it's the way I am.”

“Creativity and ideas fired between every synapse underneath my skin and I felt radiant from the inside out.”

“Well," Fred said. "Gotta go. You two come by for dinner soon. I'll barbecue something."Where Fred was concerned, that probably meant he'd shoot something first, then barbecue it, but that was fine by Tony. He'd eat barbecued yak if it meant being a part of this family”