“Spec = asking the world to have sex with you and promising dinner date to one lucky winner.”

“The rest of 2012's big winners are romances, all but one (The Lucky One, by Nicholas Sparks) of the sexed-up genre now known as "mommy-porn.”

“To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive.”

“Are you here to freak me out in any other way?""Nope.""This would include asking me for a date," I warned."Babe, don't date," he replied."You don't?""Do tequila shots followed by 5 hours of sex count as a date? he asked."Um... no," I answered."Then I don't date."I smiled at him.Then, stupidly, I asked. "You can have sex for 5 hours?"He smiled at me.Yikes.Moving on.”

“In the end, like so many beautiful promises in our lives, that dinner date never came to be.”

“Having sex multiple times on the first sleepover does not count as more than one “date”…”