“Bookshop Customer: 'Who wrote the bible?'Customer's friend: 'Jesus.”

“CUSTOMER: Oh, look, these books are all signed. (Pause) I wonder who signed them ?”

“Customer: Where are your fictional novels?”

“CUSTOMER: I’m always on night shift at work.BOOKSELLER (jokingly): Is that why you’re buying so many vampire novels?CUSTOMER (seriously): You can never be too prepared.”

“CUSTOMER: Hi, I just wanted to ask: did Anne Frank ever write a sequel?BOOKSELLER: ........CUSTOMER: I really enjoyed her first book.BOOKSELLER: Her diary?CUSTOMER: Yes, the diary.BOOKSELLER: Her diary wasn’t fictional.CUSTOMER: Really?BOOKSELLER: Yes... She really dies at the end – that’s why the diary finishes. She was taken to a concentration camp.CUSTOMER: Oh... that’s terrible.BOOKSELLER: Yes, it was awful -CUSTOMER: I mean, it’s such a shame, you know? She was such a good writer.”

“CUSTOMER: Is your mother around ?BOOKSELLER: ... I run this bookshop.CUSTOMER: Oh. Sorry.”

“CUSTOMER (to their friend): God, the Famous Five titles realy were crap, weren’t they? Five Go Camping. Five Go Off in a Caravan.... If it was Five Go Down To a Crack House it might be a bit more exciting.”