“CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called "Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe.”

“CUSTOMER: I read a book in the sixties. I don’t remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?”

“CUSTOMER: Hi.BOOKSELLER: Hi there, how can I help?CUSTOMER: Could you please explain Kindle to me.BOOKSELLER: Sure. It’s an e-reader, which means you download books and read them on a small hand-held computer.CUSTOMER: Oh OK, I see. So . . . this Kindle. Are the books on that paperback or hardback?”

“CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Nineteen Eighty Six?BOOKSELLER: Nineteen Eighty Six?CUSTOMER: Yeah, Orwell.BOOKSELLER: Oh – Nineteen Eighty Four.CUSTOMER: No, I’m sure it’s Nineteen Eighty. Six; I’ve always remembered it because it’s the year I was born.”

“CUSTOMER: Oh, look, these books are all signed. (Pause) I wonder who signed them ?”

“CUSTOMER: Hi, I just wanted to ask: did Anne Frank ever write a sequel?BOOKSELLER: ........CUSTOMER: I really enjoyed her first book.BOOKSELLER: Her diary?CUSTOMER: Yes, the diary.BOOKSELLER: Her diary wasn’t fictional.CUSTOMER: Really?BOOKSELLER: Yes... She really dies at the end – that’s why the diary finishes. She was taken to a concentration camp.CUSTOMER: Oh... that’s terrible.BOOKSELLER: Yes, it was awful -CUSTOMER: I mean, it’s such a shame, you know? She was such a good writer.”

“Bookshop Customer: 'Who wrote the bible?'Customer's friend: 'Jesus.”