“I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim) are proof that Jesus loves us.”

“You like a cracker?What kind of cracker?Graham, chocolate, cocoanut, whatever you want.Maybe just a plain cracker.I don't have plain crackers. I got graham, chocolate and cocoanut.Alright, a graham cracker.They're in the kitchen, in the closet.Maybe later.”

“Multiple personalities. Don't freak out but I'm pretty sure I have them. Not a clinical thing, not a disease. But a distraction to be sure. There are maybe six or seven pretty concrete versions of myself knocking around in here and I mean it gets fucking crowded when everybody is drunk or talking at once.”

“I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.”

“All right. And if any of you get hurt I'm going to be really mad. I sleep with a Glock next to my bed so don't think I'm joking. I will shoot you if you don't make sure Gibson gets back here safely”

“I eat kung pao chicken like it's going out of style, but I'm pretty sure I don't have an Asian cell in my body. I love Toni Morrison novels although I'm not black. I'm straight and I'm happily married. The reason I work here is because I think you deserve that, too.”