“I’m busy sorting through our new collection of rhinestone jewelry. Should anyone be in the market for sparkly accessories the size of a hubcap, this is the place to get them. Earlier today, a customer picked up one of the enormous chandelier-style offerings and asked, 'Do those be genuine rhimestones?'I couldn’t even begin to explain everything that was wrong with her sentence, so I simply replied, 'Yes. They do be genuine.”

“In a culture that elevates beauty and style, the Christian community is at genuine risk fordistraction, even deception. What do we truly admire in our leaders? Are we nodifferent from secular population, drawn tocharisma and style above substance and i tegrity? I hope not.”

“I was a vegetarian of sorts," he replied, "but the difference between animal and vegetable isn't as clearly defined on my home world as it is here.""How do you mean?" I asked."Our plants can get out of the soil and move to a new location if they don't like where they're growing. Some of them are sentient. I tried not to eat those sorts of plants" he replied."Oh. Well, I'm sure they found that very thoughtful of you," I replied.”

“Marketing is not the art of finding clever ways to dispose of what you make. It is the art of creating genuine customer value.”

“That's not how I'd planned it to be.""How did you plan it to be?" I ask, not to be snarky but because I am genuinely curious."I planned it to be a million different things," he replies. "And in the end, I couldn't figure which one it should be.”

“The whole experience reminded me of my own 'old lady' phase that I went through in high school while I was reading Somerset Maugham... The embroidered sweaters, the costume jewelry... I remember genuinely WANTING to be old then, to act as if the business of my life was already all but over, and that I was preternaturally wise because of it...God, the stupid things you'll do to try and meet boys...”