“Dumbest thing someone says trying to be comforting, which in this case turns out of be true: 'There is no need for you to be afraid. I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here, for he is risen, as he said he would.'-Angel of the Lord, post-descending from heaven and violent earthquakes, sitting calmly on tombstone he rolled away, and scaring the crap out of Jesus' lady friends.”

“Mr. Troutman ends the class by saying our role is a sacred one. 'We do what others can't,' he says, 'so that others can grieve in the way they need to.”

“Your hair is ridiculous,' I say. 'And I love you.' I'm surprised how easily the words come out.'My hair is ridiculous.' Charlie smiles even wider and says, just as easily, 'And I love you too.”

“So here I am, the one-and-only Amazing Donna, superhero of freaked-out insomnia, and proud owner of a team of unruly stallions. I should totally get a cape.”

“My heart broke when he died, split in half and fell down into my stomach or somewhere deep and muddy, and I'm still not sure where it is now. I hear it beating sometimes in my ears, or feel its fast pulse in my neck, like I do now; but in my chest, where it should be, it mostly just feels empty.”

“Once I learned how to make pot holders out of multi-colored pieces of panty hose, but that doesn't seem quite on par.”

“Deceased's request as stated in last will and testament: 'I want to be made up to look undead, like the fucking sexiest vampire chick you can imagine, for an open-casket viewing.”