“This was the downside to cell phones. It was nowhere near as as satisfying to press end as it was to slam a phone into its holder.”

“Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.”

“A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size of the 1980s.”

“It's not that you can't get things done with the use of a cell phone; indeed you can get a lot of things done. However, the nature of what you get done is highly skewed. Just as the man with only a hammer sees everything as nails, the incessant cell phone user accomplishes a variety of tasks, understandably enough, that accrue directly to having a cell phone.”

“The problem with cell phones is that you can’t slam them down into a cradle when you hang up. Your only option is to throw them, and if you do, they just skitter across the floor and crack their case. It’s not satisfying at all. I close my eyes and bend down to pick up the pieces.”

“Cell phones are to adults what toy rattles are to infants.”