“If I hired one of the stock boys to chase me around the store with a licorice whip, I'd be thin by Christmas.”

“Being fat was traumatic, but the food was amazing.”

“The truth is, I'd give it all up, the sentience, the endowments, and I'd go back to Scranton and work in that damned store and stock fucking Pez dispensers for the rest of my life if it meant that I could still be with you until I die. ”

“You try moving things with nothing but willpower. It's about as easy as trying to lasso a bull with a licorice whip."—from "Phantom's Veil”

“I'm Chase." he said."Kind of an ironic name for a werewolf." The observation slipped easily off my tongue. The boy didn't blink. In fact, I was beginning to doubt that he'd blink once since I'd come into the room. "Werewolves do a lot of chasing." I explained."And your name is Chase. Hee.”

“We're like licorice. Not everybody likes licorice, but the people who like licorice really like licorice.”

“You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune.”