“What happened to your face?""What happened to yours?" I retorted. "You look like a damn Oompa Loompa. You should lay off the spray tanning, Lea.”

“This is me, remember?" retorts Suze. "I know what you're like! You used to throw all your bank statements into the trash and hope a complete stranger would pay off your bills!" This is what happens. You tell your friends your most personal secrets, and they use them against you.”

“What happened to your tan.”

“Oompa-Loompa Land?” He shook his head. “No way. Orange people give me the creeps. I don’t even like fake tans. I’d never be their king.”

“So?” I asked Vee. “What’s the verdict?”“The verdict? My doctor is a lard-arse. Closely resembles an Oompa-Loompa. Don’t give me your severe look. Last time he came in, he broke into the Funky Chicken. And he’s forever eating chocolate. Mostly chocolate animals. You know the solid chocolate bunnies they’re selling for Easter? That’s what the Oompa-Loompa ate for dinner. Had a chocolate duck at lunch with a side of yellow Peeps.”

“I supposed that if I had a third eye in the middle of my forehead she would want one of those too. “You don’t want a fake orange tan, Munchkin.”“Yes, I do,” she insisted. “It’s pretty.”Alex was amused. “Oh, I think so too. Very pretty and informative. I have always wondered what the female Oompa-Loompas looked like.”