“His hair was longer now, brushing the tops of his shoulders, and the weight of it made it hang straight and shiny. He’d lost more weight and gotten kind of tan. He looked about five years older. And then there was me, dressed as sushi.”

“Holding the knife with the blade against my palm, it became so clear how my life would only contain shadows now. Shadows of things gone; not just the people themselves but everything connected to them. Was this my future? Every moment, every tiny thing I saw and did and touched, weighted by loss. Every space in this house andmy town and the world in general, empty in a way that could never be filled.”

“Keep in touch.I suddenly realized how annoying that expression was. Like, Now it's your job to stay in contact with me. It said, I'm really just too lazy.I started to write back, to keep in touch, but decided I'd be lazy as well.”

“I sat parked for a while in the parent pickup lot, watching a bunch of little kids run relays up and down the field. To be nine years old. To have life simply about family and friends and who was mad at who and which games you wanted to play at recess, and getting gold stars on spelling tests, an feeling that first crush.Laurel, you had everything back then, and you didn't even know it.”

“Then I closed my eyes.That was it. That was Before. Now here we go into After.”

“Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the womanwho once slept here not knowing that someday one of herworst fears would come true”

“It seemed like the only way to keep breathing was to focus on the here and now, moment by moment, keeping my mind frozen cold to anything else.”