“The only thing I knew for sure at that moment was that David would be back.If I was gone when that happened, would he leave again? For good?David, do you know that’s a chance I can’t take?”

“I don’t know, Laurel,” said David, and I loved how he said my name, like he enjoyed it.”

“Holding the knife with the blade against my palm, it became so clear how my life would only contain shadows now. Shadows of things gone; not just the people themselves but everything connected to them. Was this my future? Every moment, every tiny thing I saw and did and touched, weighted by loss. Every space in this house andmy town and the world in general, empty in a way that could never be filled.”

“Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the womanwho once slept here not knowing that someday one of herworst fears would come true”

“Laurel, I hope you find something like this, a little self-destructive habit you can turn to every once in a while, when you’re tired of being good. It will keep you sane.”

“But even if that were true, I was working hard. I didn’t know how not to.”

“I'm taking it day by day." I liked saying this. It was honest, short, and seemed to satisfy people.”