“Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin.I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture”
“First, I'm not getting married, so you can forget the wife. Second, if I was insane enough to get married, I wouldn't have kids. Third, if I was insane enough to get married and have kids, it would be a cold day in hell I'd let you babysit.”
“I even yelled at you last night." Phin eased up. "For which I apologize.""It was kind of nice," Sophie said. "At least you know I was there.""Oh hell, Spohie, I always know you're there." Phin rolled twords her on one hip, and Sophie felt felt a flare of hope, but he was just digging something out of his back pocket. "Here." He weld out an emerald-cut diamond ring the size of her head. "Marry me, Julie Ann. Ruin the rest of my life.""Hello." Sophie gasped at the ring. "Jeez, that thing is huge. Where did you get it?""My mother gave it to me," Phin said sounding bemused. Then the other shoe dropped. "Marry you?" Sophie said, and the sun came out and the birds to sing and the river sent up a cheer. Marriage was probably out- Liz as a mother-in-law was too terrifying to complete , and Phin would never get elected agian if he was married to a pornographer- but suddenly everything else was looking pretty good.”
“It's just that you don't respect me enough to respect what I want. I have to want what you want or it doesn't count or its's no good. Well, I don't want what you want. And I don't see why I have to. I mean, as long as I respect what you want and let you live your life, why do you care?”
“I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.”
“I'll be right behind you"behind her? Thirty-two steps with him looking at her butt?"No, you wont.""Look, it's late, i'm tired, can we just-""it'll be a cold day in hell when you follow me up those steps. You want to go up, you go first.""Why?" he said mystified"you're not looking at my rear end all the way up that hill."Cal sighed and took the first step. "wait a minute. Now you'll be looking at my butt all the way up the steps.""yes but you probably have a great butt," Min said. "it's an entirely different dynamic.”
“It doesn't matter," Min said. "That's what I'm trying to tell you, it doesn't matter what you do or say. I'm going to love you till the end of time."Cal looked at her, stunned."I know," Min said. "It's really un-PC. I just thought you should know that you can't screw this up.""I can't?" Cal said, wanting to believe her."No," Min said. "Which doesn't mean I'm not going to tell if you make me mad again. I will shout and slam doors. I just won't be on the other side of the door when I slam it. You've got me for life." He lost his breath and put his forehead against her shoulder. "God, I love you.”