“Would she hit a dog to get great sex?”

“She decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be so worth it.”

“She loved dogs, New York, television, children, friendship, sex, laughing, heartbreaking songs, marijuana, farts, and cuddling.”

“It smelled like sex and dog in here. But mostly it smelled like sex.”

“When you are thirteen, you spend all your time imagining what it would be like to live in a world where you could pay a robot for sex. And that sex would cost a dollar. And the only obstacle to getting that sex would be making sure you had four quarters.Then you grow up and it turns out you do live in that kind of world. A world with coin-operated sexbots. And it's not really as great as you thought it would be.”

“It's all overrated, man. Sex is only a great thing if you're not getting any.”