“Would she hit a dog to get great sex?”

“You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.”

“I suppose you had to," Wes said when Phin went back to join him at the table."Pretty much. She seduced me.""Yeah, right," Wes said. "She said, 'Please fix the kitchen drain,' and you interpreted that--""She said, 'Fuck me.' " Phin put two balls on the table and picked up his cue. "I interpreted that to mean she wanted sex.""Oh." Wes picked up his cue. "That would have been my call, too." He squinted at the table. "Why would she have said that?""On a guess? Because she wanted sex.”

“Statistics show that men are interested in three things: careers, sports, and sex. That's why they love professional cheerleaders."Cal put down his fork "Well, that's sexist.""Yes i know," she said. "But it's true isn't it?""What?" Cal tried to find his place in the conversation. "Oh, the sports and sex thing? Not at all. This is the twenty-first century. We've learned how to be sensitive.""You have?""Sure," Cal said. "Otherwise we wouldn't get laid.”

“Wonder of wonders, the box had Elvis. Immediately the bar seemed a better place. She fed in coins and then punched the keys for "Hound Dog." Too bad Elvis had never recorded one called "Dickhead.”

“Zach had brought her a dog.”

“Rum and Coke, please," she told the bartender.Maybe that was why Liza and Bonnie never had guy trouble: great hair. She looked at Liza, racehorse-thin in purple zippered leather...Okay it wasn't just the hair. If she jammed herself into liza's dress, she'd look like Barney's slut cousin."Diet Coke," she told the bartender.”