“Did you know that people who meet at least three different times within twenty-four hour period are ninety-eight percent more likely to meet again?”

“Did you know that ninety-eight percent of statistics are made up on the spot?”

“People who meet in airports are seventy-two percent more likely to fall for each other than people who meet anywhere else.”

“And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”

“People who read me seem to be divided into four groups: twenty-five percent like me for the right reasons; twenty-five percent like me for the wrong reasons; twenty-five percent hate me for the wrong reasons; twenty-five percent hate me for the right reasons. It's that last twenty-five percent that worries me.”

“Ninety-five percent of people who walk the earth are simply inert. One percent are saints, and one percent are assholes. The other three percent are people who do what they say they can do.”