“And then my mom called, "Have fun on your date, Hayden!"Another step down and I thought, Good.Mom is mistaken and has led Nick to believe I'm going on a date.One more step down and I thought,Oh no,Mom has led Nick believe I'm going on a date!"”

“Nick ran smack into me."Ooof!" he hollered, grabbing me around the waist to keep me from falling down the rest of the staircase.That's when I realized Mom thought Nick and I were going on a date together.Quickly Nick let me go.He looked huge, frowning down at me from the step above. "Why are you stopping in the middle of the stairs?""Why are you tailgating me?"He put his hand behind me, at butt level, without touching me. "What is that?" he demanded.I bent a little and slapped my butt, "Something the heir to a meat fortune should know all about. USDA grade-A prime,baby." I straightened. "Just kidding. Really, it's my butt."He put his hands on his hips, and from below I noticed his strong superhero chin again.He grumbled, "Why do you have 'boy toy' written across your butt?""Oh!" I put my hand over the words, realizing that I probably should have been embarrassed about this sooner. "These are my brother's jeans. He wrote it to annoy me. Or to get me a date.”

“Nick looked for his coat on the rack.I snagged mine and shrugged it on without stopping.I swung open the front door of the restaurant.The frigid night wind blew snow into my eyes."Hayden," Nick called me."Close the door," hollered the couples in the booths nearest us.I let go of the door handle, then turned to Nick in the warm room. When he just stood there,staring down at me,I walked back to him."On second thought,"he said, "I don't know about this."I was not going to get dissed again.I said brightly, "Oh,don't be scared.It's easy!" I jerked his puffy parka down from the rack and held it open for him. "Try one arm at a time."Glaring at me,he took the coat and shrugged it on. "Close the door!" shouted the couples around us as we walked outside.”

“Cold and anger were not a good mix."Hayden," Nick called from behind me.Oh, good! Just what this walk needed: a double-shot of ex to go with that cold and anger.”

“Yes,I'm seeing someone," Nick said. Standing beside them but hardly acknowledging them.He was watching for my answer on his phone."For how long?" a woman asked."Four years," I heard him say."Aww!" I squealed. Then I turned to Chloe. "Do I want to be in People?""No," she said firmly. "Nick is ot."Gavin frowned and poked her in the side. "Hey."She ducked away from his finger. "Facts are facts. Nick is hot,and when girls read People and see he's dating you,they will call you a skank ho. You and I have mooned over Prince William. We know the deal.”

“Did he want Nick to die on the floor of his bathroom from an overdose of mentholated rub? Did he want me to spend the last eighty years of my lifespan in a convent? Maybe he was mad that I was trying to sneak out of the house wearing his jeans for the third day in a row."I am taking Doofus for another walk," I said clearly,daring him to defy me."That would not be good for Doofus." Josh folded his arms. "Mom,that would not be good for Doofus."Oh! Dragging Mom into this was low.Not to mention Doofus."Since when is going for a walk not good for a dog?" I challenged Josh."He's an old dog," Josh protested."He's four!" I pointed out."That's twenty-eight in dog years! He's practically thirty!""Strike!" Mom squealed amid the noise of electronic pins falling. Then she shook her game remote at both of us in turn. "I'm not stupid, you know.And I'm not as out of it as you assume. I know the two of you are really arguing about something else.It's those jeans again, isn't it?" She nodded to me. "I should cut them in half and give each of you a leg.Why does either of you want to wear jeans with 'boy toy' written across the seat anyway?""I thought that was the fashion." Josh said. "Grandma wears a pair of sweatpants with 'hot mama' written across the ass.""That is different," Mom hissed. "She wears them around the kitchen."I sniffed indignantly. "I said," I announced, "I am goig for a walk with my dog. My beloved canine and I are taking a turn around our fair community. No activity could be more wholesome for a young girl and her pet. And if you have a problem with that,well! What is this world coming to? Come along, dear Doofus." I stuck my nose in the air and stalked past them, but the effect was lost. Somewhere around "our fair community," Mom and Josh both had lost interest and turned back to the TV.Or so I thought.But just as I was about to step outside,hosh appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the mud room. "What the hell are you doing" he demanded.I said self-righteously, "I am taking my loyal canine for a w-""You're going to Nick's,aren't you?" he whispered. "Do you think that's a good idea? I heard you yelled at him for no reason at the half-pipe,right before he busted ass.”

“Look at me." I stood in front of both of them. To Liz I said, “You and Davis are adorable together.” I moved to Chloe. “And you and Gavin are—”She raised her eyebrows at me.“—interesting together. You can’t let my fight with Nick ruin your relationships with your hot boyfriends. Come on, now. My fight with Nick has been going on for years. It’s like this black hole, with gravity so strong that not even light can escape, sucking in winter breaks and dates and whole relationships, until the world—are you listening to me?” When I’d started waxing poetic, Chloe’s attention had wandered around the room. I grabbed her chin and turned her face to me again. “Until the very world is devoid of love!”“It’s not that bad,” Nick’s voice came faintly through the locker room wall.We all looked at one another.”