“Brandon is your boyfriend, right. You keep saying ‘Brandon is my boyfriend,’” he moved his fingers in quote marks, “and it makes as much sense as ‘I am balancing the planet Pluto on my big toe’ or ‘Kumquats make the best nuclear physicists.”

“No. That's Clary; shes's my best friend." Simon pocketed his phone. "And she has a boyfriend. Like, really, really, really has a boyfriend. The nuclear bomb of boyfriends. Trust me on this one.”

“I can't believe anyone would make fun of your height. Because you're average height, right?" -Brandon”

“Then what sport do you play?"Carlos puts down his food. Oh, no. He's got a rebellious gleam in his eye as he says, "The horizontal tango."-------------------------------------------"Dancing really isn't a sport," Brandon tells Carlos, oblivious to the shock at the rest of the table."It is when I do it," Carlos says.-------------------------------------------Brandon turns to my dad with big, innocent eyes."Daddy, do YOU know how to do the horizontal tango?”

“Do you play football?' Brandon asks. 'No.' 'Baseball?' 'Nope.' Brandon is on a roll and won't stop until he's found the answer he's looking for. 'Tennis?' 'That would be a nada' 'Then what sport do you play?' Carlos puts down his food. Oh, no. He's got a rebellious gleam in his eye as he says, 'The horizontal tango.' ...Alex stands and says through chlenched teeth, 'Carlos let's talk. In private. Ahora.' ....Brandon turns to my dad with big, innocent eyes. 'Daddy, do you know how to do the horizontal tango?”

“He has no right to threaten my boyfriends. I'm eighteen. An adult. I don't need his help. I can threaten my boyfriends myself.”