“But when I was a little girl, my mom always told me to be nice to everybody, no matter what they looked like or how they treated me, because I never knew who might be an angel God had sent to Earth in disguise.”

“I remembered what Mr. Hall had told me when I first asked him for a lesson: the kids who watch planes are destined to be pilots.”

“But you know what? They all grinned at me in welcome,and Josh even scooted over to make room for me on the bench. At least I knew who my true friends were. Feeling grateful and loved,I sat downTHPPPPTHPPPPTHPPPPT! I farted. Or so it seemed. The boys died laughing.I pulled the whoopee cushion out from under me and flung it on the table,which only sent them into another paroxysm."Nick-Kriger-is-behind-you," Josh gasped between giggles. "He totally heard it over Galaga.Do you still want us to look without looking like we're looking?" This sent them into yet another laughing fit."But don't worry," one of his friends said. "We'll act like we think you're hot."They all snorted and dabbed at their eyes faux-girlishly with paper napkins from the holder. Then,as if on cue, they started their rythmic heavy breathing,and I knew one of Josh's raps was coming. The people in the booths around us turned to look, if they weren't already staring at us outright because of the whoopee cushion.”

“And you told me the biggest lie of all. You told me you loved me,” It was my turn to wince like he’d slapped me. “I don’t remember saying that” “You would if it had been true. You would feel something”

“Oh, God," Lori said without looking at me, "what are they thinking, leaving the two of us alone out here on the dock together? We might TALK or something.""That would be awful," I said. "I might give you a hickey."She laughed, still watching for Cameron's start instead of looking at me. "Just by talking to me?""I can talk really dirty. You'd be surprised.”

“I gave my dad a thumbs-up.He stared at me. My mom turned to him in the car, asking him, What? What is it? He kept staring at me. My brown hair was an even bigger shock for him than I'd expected.I smiled and waved at him and mouthed, "Welcome home."He put his hand to his eyes. He knew I was finally cured.”

“Did you tell my mother that you called me a bitch last night,too?" I asked him. "Because that's the best way I know to win parents over."For a split second,he looked uncomfortable. Almost immediately, he recovered and went back on the offensive. "You shouldn't wear those jeans.People might think something."I stomped my foot on the stair. "Like what? I want to show off my fire-crotch? What do you care? God! Stop following me." My hair was down now, and I felt it smack into his chest as I whirled around and flounced down the rest of the stairs, across the lobby, and into the cold night.”