“Dad" I pleaded, "this is so [cuss word you never, ever say in front of your mother] ridiculous.”

“And ever so faintly,I could hear Josh rapping to his posse's beat.I couldn't make out most of what he was saying, but I thought I caught the word prepubescent.”

“I'm glad this happened," he said softly. I hoped it was for real,and I didn't want to talk about it too much and ruin the lovely illusion that we were a couple.So I said noncommittally, "Me too.""Because I've been trying to get you back since the seventh grade."I must have given him a very skeptical look.He laughed at my expression. "Yeah, I have a funny way of showing it. I know. But you're always on my mind. You're in the front of my mind,on the tip of my tongue. So if someone breaks a beaker in chemistry class, I raise my hand and tell Ms. Abernathy you did it. If somebody brings a copy of Playboy to class, I stuff it in your locker.""Oh!" I thought back to the January issue. "I wondered where that came from.""And if Everett Walsh tells the lunch table what a wicked kisser you are and how far he would have gotten with you if his mother hadn't come in-"I stamped my foot on the floorboard of the SUV."That is so not true! He'd already gotten as far as he was going. He's not that cute, and I had to go home and study for algebra. "-It drives me insane to the point that I tell him to shut up or I'll make him shut up right there in front of everybody. Because I am supposed to be your boyfriend, and my mother is supposed to hate you,and you're supposed to be making out with me."Twisted as this declaration was,it was the sweetest thing a boy had ever said to me.I dwelled on the soft lips that had formed the statement,and on the meaning of his words. "Okay." I scooted across the seat and nibbled the very edge of his superhero chin."Ah," he gasped, moving both hands from the steering wheel to the seat to brace himself. "I didn't mean now.I meant in general.Your dad will come out of the house and kill me.”

“And I don't know who you're calling little."I knew one way to solve this argument. I carefully tore the whole article out of the front page, then rolled up the newspaper and slid the rubber band back on. "Doofus," I whispered. Poor Doofus, behind us in the mud room, stood up in a rush of jingling dog tags and slobber. I slipped the paper into his mouth and whispered, "Take this to Dad."Doofus wagged his tail and trotted into the kitchen. We heard Dad say, "Did you bring me the paper? Good dog. Wait a minute. Bad dog!”

“Her dad turned to me. "You. Follow Me.""Woof," I said.”

“What the monkey!” My dad slammed through my door and burst into my room wearing nothing but his bathrobe.We all looked up at him in surprise. “You tell us,” I said.“Oh.” My dad actually looked sheepish. “It’s one o’clock in the morning and I was going to tell you to shut the monkey up and go to bed. I didn’t realize what wasgoing on in here.”“What’s going on in here?” Cameron asked suspiciously.“Maturity.” My dad backed out of the room and closed the door.”

“Here’s what you did wrong, Adam,” he barked. “I told your parents to make it clear to you that you were not to see Lori again. You did it anyway. at’s what you didwrong.”“But—,” I started.“Shhh,” Lori said beside me.“That’s—,” I started again.“Shut up,” Lori muttered.“—ridiculous,” I finished.“Adam, stop talking,” Lori said.“Adam, stop talking,” Frances repeated.”