“I swear, Tiff, if my ass made good grades, you'd want to date my ass.”

“Friends my ass.”

“Laughing,I poked him for his embarrassingly accurate imitation of my southern accent.He continued in my voice, "Then one day my boyfriend was being an ass and I challenged him to a comp.I had to do a front 1080 off a jump just to show him up,and the rest is history.""I hope so.""I know so." He kissed my cheek.I reached back to run my fingers through his long hair. "Right now I want to lie low,have a normal life,and hang out with my boyfriend. I'll meet you in People in a few years."He chuckled, making my insides sparkle with anticipation. "It's a date.”

“Can you take off your shirt?”I couldn’t see Rachel clearly on the other side of my truck’s cab. My eyes hadn’t yet adjusted to the darkness of my secret make-out hideout. But I could hear herlaughing her ass off. “Not even for Sean.”“Well, we have to make it look good somehow. Do you mind if I take off mine? My dad says I look like sex on a stick with my shirt off.”“Knock yourself out.”I started to pull my shirt over my head. I was used to wearing T-shirts. When it wouldn’t give, I remembered I was wearing something Sean-like. As I unbuttoned it, Iasked, “Want to make a bet how long it takes him to get out here?”

“And on a personal level,my boyfriend and I love eachother enough,and we have enough respect for each other, that we're bigger than that."I laughed."Nick and I are not bigger than that.We are very,very small." Daisy nodded. "And then,of course, there's the fact that I'm prettier than my boyfriend. He may fly higher,but I look better doing it." She turned around backward. "I mean, even in these snow pants,check out my ass.”

“Let's go," I said."Go where?""On Lori's date with Parker."Now he looked at me over the nerdy spectacles he wore for reading."I wasn't aware it was a double date. And you're not my type.”

“Did he want Nick to die on the floor of his bathroom from an overdose of mentholated rub? Did he want me to spend the last eighty years of my lifespan in a convent? Maybe he was mad that I was trying to sneak out of the house wearing his jeans for the third day in a row."I am taking Doofus for another walk," I said clearly,daring him to defy me."That would not be good for Doofus." Josh folded his arms. "Mom,that would not be good for Doofus."Oh! Dragging Mom into this was low.Not to mention Doofus."Since when is going for a walk not good for a dog?" I challenged Josh."He's an old dog," Josh protested."He's four!" I pointed out."That's twenty-eight in dog years! He's practically thirty!""Strike!" Mom squealed amid the noise of electronic pins falling. Then she shook her game remote at both of us in turn. "I'm not stupid, you know.And I'm not as out of it as you assume. I know the two of you are really arguing about something else.It's those jeans again, isn't it?" She nodded to me. "I should cut them in half and give each of you a leg.Why does either of you want to wear jeans with 'boy toy' written across the seat anyway?""I thought that was the fashion." Josh said. "Grandma wears a pair of sweatpants with 'hot mama' written across the ass.""That is different," Mom hissed. "She wears them around the kitchen."I sniffed indignantly. "I said," I announced, "I am goig for a walk with my dog. My beloved canine and I are taking a turn around our fair community. No activity could be more wholesome for a young girl and her pet. And if you have a problem with that,well! What is this world coming to? Come along, dear Doofus." I stuck my nose in the air and stalked past them, but the effect was lost. Somewhere around "our fair community," Mom and Josh both had lost interest and turned back to the TV.Or so I thought.But just as I was about to step outside,hosh appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the mud room. "What the hell are you doing" he demanded.I said self-righteously, "I am taking my loyal canine for a w-""You're going to Nick's,aren't you?" he whispered. "Do you think that's a good idea? I heard you yelled at him for no reason at the half-pipe,right before he busted ass.”