“Let me get this straight.Your lunchroom speech went a little something like this." I put my hands out on front of me like I was a Roman Orator enunciating for the crowd. "I, Nick Krieger,defender of women, would never denounce the crotch. I am above the crotch.”

“Can you put your hands on my crotch?”“Why, hell no, I cannot.” I didn’t remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice.”

“I feel like grabbing my crotch and checking to see if my balls are still there because I think they may be in her pocket and I need to get them back.”

“Every morning I was renewed, though. Air and light healed me, over and over. I got to where I depended on it. When I was feeling my worst, I would step out into the yard and put my hands on the branches of the little redbud. It made me feel like I was saying a prayer, to do this. I know that sounds like foolishness, but that little tree was like an altar for me. I stood there in the cold of early winter, wishing for the redbud to bear leaves so that I might put my face against them.”

“Winston Gallagher!" I said, recognizing the first ghost I'de met. Then my eyes narrowed & I covered my hand in front of my crotch as I saw Winstons gaze fasten there next. "Don't even think about poltergeisting my panties again". "This is the sod? Come here you scurvy little--" "Bones don't!" I interrupted. He stopped, giving a last glare to him while mouthing YOU. ME. EXORCIST. before returning to my side.”

“I've been a Christian since I was a little girl. But my Christianity is a muddy mess of thoughts and opinions and making God into what works for me-like going shopping at the mall and picking out whatever I want, putting together faith like I would an outfit. Somehow I don't think the Creator, the I AM, the savior of the world is something we can mix and match to out liking.”