“Mrs. Vader shook her head as she picked up a sponge and wiped the counter. “Lori, you need to watch out around these boys.”I was still miffed at her for implying I didn’t have a mind of my own. “Maybe they need to watch out around me.” I had thought this for a while, but I never said it outloud. When I saw the look on Mrs. Vader’s face, I wished I could take it back. “Maybe they do!” Her voice was shrill.”

“With you, things are different. I'm not sure what it is but when I'm with you, I feel something I've never felt before. I do want you. Bad. It surprises me and scares the shit out of me. Maybe I'm not good for you. Maybe what I feelis wrong. Because, I did love Ashton. She was all I needed...but never did I feel the uncontrollable desire to get her underneath me" His voice dropped, "Never did I make up reasons to get her to wrap her legs around me so I could feel her pressed up against me. Never," he swallowed hard. "Never, did I think about being inside her.”

“I finally said it. The actual words, out loud, to her face. It was a relief, not carrying it around anymore, and it was a rush, actually telling her. I was in an elated sort of daze, on a high. She loved me. I didn’t need to hear her say it out loud, I knew it innately in the way she looked at me just then.Conrad Fisher”

“I don’t remember waking up that Sunday morning —- perhaps I never slept. Iwas just sitting up in bed watching Sarah sleep. She’d slept naked in my bed but she hadn’t let me have sex with her. I didn’t care. I loved watching her sleep. The light was falling through my window, all over the blue sheets of my old bed, and onto her face. I lifted up the sheets and watched her breasts move with her breath. They seemed to be sleeping themselves. I hoped that she wouldn’t wake up. I laid the sheet back over her, right up to her chin. I looked up and out of my room.I thought, This must be what praying is like.”

“I stood beside the U-Haul, and I just watched her. I stared at her while she looked on with the saddest look in her eyes. I wanted to know what she was thinking about, what was going on in her head. What had mad her so sad? I wanted to hug her so bad. When she finally got out of the U-Haul and I introduced myself to her, it took all I had to let go of her hand. I wanted to hold on to it forever. I wanted to let her know that she wasn't alone. Whatever burden it was that she was carrying around, I wanted to carry it for her. I wish I could, Lake. I wish I could take it all away. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. It doesn't just go away.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?' I asked her.'You know,' she said, 'when you say stuff like that I just want to slap you.''What?''You heard me.' She picked up her beer and took a swallow, still watching me. Then she said, 'Colie, you should never be surprised when people treat you with respect. You should expect it.'I shook my head. 'You don’t know-' I began. But, as usual, she didn’t let me finish.'Yes,' she said simply. 'I do know. I’ve watched you, Colie. You walk around like a dog waiting to be kicked, and when someone does, you pout and cry like you didn’t deserve it.''No one deserves to be kicked,' I said.'I disagree,' she said flatly. 'You do if you don’t think you’re worth any better.”