“That still seemed like a good idea, back on failed attempt number three.”

“When I’m with you," he began again, "it’s like… I still don’t feel normal. But I can see normal at twelve o’clock on the horizon." He pointed past me, through the windshield of an imaginary airplane. "At least I know normal is still out there. I’ve spent the last three months not sure of that at all.”

“I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I’d enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber.”

“Think like a middle-aged man with OCD, a dead wife, and a teenage daughter.Think like a woman with three teenage sons who once ran a golf cart into the side of their granddad's house.""Cameron and Sean shouldn't have let me drive," Adam said in his own defense. "I was seven.""You shouldn't have ASKED to drive. You were seven.”

“The instant I saw Lori’s dad and Frances across the hot asphalt road, I spun around, hoping Lori was still hidden by the trees.She stood right behind me, in full view. And if my expression matched hers, we couldn’t have looked more guilty.I turned back around. Her dad’s face was even worse. Glaring at me, he worked his jaw like he was going to say something, but he wanted to make sure he’d thought ofthe worst possible insult first. He turned redder and seemed to swell, like all his holes were plugged up and the pressure had nowhere to escape.He opened his mouth.“It was my fault,” I said quickly.“I know!” he roared.At the same time, Lori stepped in front of me and muttered, “Wrong thing to say, Adam.”“Right.” I put my hand on Lori’s shoulder and pushed her an arm’s length away so it wouldn’t look like I was hiding behind her. “It’s nobody’s fault, because we didn’tdo anything wrong.”

“He let go and stood back,eyeing me.I could tell he didn't want to say anything to destroy my confidence,but he was afraid he'd created a monster."Don't worry.I'm ready to play the game." I nodded solemnly."One more thing," he said. "If you do fall-"I cringed. Some pep talk!"-If something terrible happens,you still won't lose everything.Now you have good friends,and nothing will ever change that.You're not that girl.""Oh,Nick." I threw myself at him,literally. He wrapped me in his arms and brushed my hair aside to kiss my forehead again.I squeezed him hard,then drew away and punched him on his padded arm. "Go ahead,and don't break a leg.”

“Nick's number waited impatiently on the screen, tapping its foot. I could press the red button to cancel the call. Without pressing anything, I set the phone down on my bedside table, crossed my arms,and glared at it. Good:Nick wouldn't think I was chasing him.Bad:Nick would die alone in his house from complications related to his stupendous wipeout.The guilt of knowing I could have saved his life if not for my outsized ego would be too much for me to bear.I would retreat from public life.I would join a nearby convent and knit potholders from strands of my own hair.No,I would crochet Christmas ornaments in the shape of delicate snowflakes.Red snowflakes! They would be sold in the souvenir shops around town.I would support a whole orphanage from the proceeds of snowflakes I crocheted from my hair.All the townspeople of Snowfall would tell tourists the story of Crazy Sister Hayden and the tragedy of her lost love. Or I could call Nick.Jesus! I snatched up the phone and pressed the green button.His phone switched straight to voice mail.Great,I hadn't found out whether he was dying,and if he recovered later,he would see my number on his phone and roll his eyes.Damage control: Beeeeep!"Hey,Nick,it's Hayden.Just,ah, wanted to know how a crash like that feels." Wait,I was trying to get him to call me back,right?He would not return my call after a message like that. "Actually just wondering whether you're ready to make out again and then have another argument." He might not return that call,either. "Actually,I remembered your mother isn't home,and I wanted to make sure you're okay.Please give me a call back."Pressed red button.Set phone on nightstand.Folded arms.Glared at phone. Picked it up. "Freaking stupid young love!" I hollered,slamming it into the pillows on my bed. Doofus jumped up, startled. Ah-ha.”