“Your confidence in me is heartwarming.Makes me want to return all the money I stole from the little old ladies and kick the heroin.”

“You owe me and you know what I want in return."He scowled at me. "Not the pants."I nodded gravely. "Give me your pants.”

“Let's do it then." I reached forward and poked his bare chest with two fingers like we were actors in a gangster movie. "You and me,on the slopes, head-to-head,the slalom and the half-pipe.I will kick." Poke. "Your." Poke. "Ass.”

“Nick ran smack into me."Ooof!" he hollered, grabbing me around the waist to keep me from falling down the rest of the staircase.That's when I realized Mom thought Nick and I were going on a date together.Quickly Nick let me go.He looked huge, frowning down at me from the step above. "Why are you stopping in the middle of the stairs?""Why are you tailgating me?"He put his hand behind me, at butt level, without touching me. "What is that?" he demanded.I bent a little and slapped my butt, "Something the heir to a meat fortune should know all about. USDA grade-A prime,baby." I straightened. "Just kidding. Really, it's my butt."He put his hands on his hips, and from below I noticed his strong superhero chin again.He grumbled, "Why do you have 'boy toy' written across your butt?""Oh!" I put my hand over the words, realizing that I probably should have been embarrassed about this sooner. "These are my brother's jeans. He wrote it to annoy me. Or to get me a date.”

“Perhaps I should notify Ms. Abernethy of a safety hazard in her chemistry classroom.Obviously I had inhaled hallucinatory gas just before she kicked me out.”

“I could have explained that I wanted to walk without Doofus to get some air. But it would be pretty unusual-one might even go as far as to say unheard of-for me to take a hike on a winter night when I was exhausted from boarding all day.”

“Stay away from her.""Okay.""Keep your hands off her.""I'll try."He scowled at me."I will," I said.”