“How was life before Pop-Tarts, Prozac and padded playgrounds? They ate strudel, took opium and played on the grass.”

“The Pop-Tarts page is often aflutter. Pop-Tarts, it says as of today (February 8, 2008), were discontinued in Australia in 2005. Maybe that's true. Before that it said that Pop-Tarts were discontinued in Korea. Before that Australia. Several days ago it said: "Pop-Tarts is german for Little Iced Pastry O' Germany." Other things I learned from earlier versions: More than two trillion Pop-Tarts are sold each year. George Washington invented them. They were developed in the early 1960s in China. Popular flavors are "frosted strawberry, frosted brown sugar cinnamon, and semen." Pop-Tarts are a "flat Cookie." No: "Pop-Tarts are a flat Pastry, KEVIN MCCORMICK is a FRIGGIN LOSER notto mention a queer inch." No: "A Pop-Tart is a flat condom." Once last fall the whole page was replaced with "NIPPLES AND BROCCOLI!!!!!”

“If she pops out sons the way she pops in tarts, the Dreadfort will soon be overrun with Boltons.”

“She was like a real strawberry in a roomful of strawberry Pop-Tarts.”

“Wow. Being responsible sure takes it out of you. This calls for a Pop-Tart.”

“Morning: Slept.Afternoon: Slept.Evening: Ate grass.Night: Ate grass. Decided grass is boring. Scratched. Hard to reach the itchy bits.Slept.”