“And I never felt this way with anyone else. Like I’m falling every time I’m around you, like I can’t catch my breath, and I feel alive—not just standing around and letting my life walk past me. There’s been nothing like that with anyone else.”

“I’ve never felt like this for anyone. And I’m not really sure what falling in love feels like, but I think—I know I have. With you.”

“Barnabas’s voice helps me drift off to sleep. I think briefly about how I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. I care about my family and friends, but this is a different feeling. This must be how my father feels about my mother. This must be what it feels like to be in love. Somehow, I’m certain.I know I can’t leave him here to rot. I can’t leave him at all.”

“All I need isbackup. He’s the little angel that sits on my shoulder whispering in my ear,“You can do it!” It’s funny. I’m thirty years old now and I still feel like a littlegirl. I’m still looking around to check and see what other people are doingto make sure I’m not completely different; I’m still looking around for help,hoping for a quick nudge and a whisper of advice. But I can’t seem to be ableto catch anybody’s eye. Nobody else around me seems to be looking aroundand wondering what to do. Why is it that I feel like I’m the only person whois confused and concerned about the choices I’ve made and where I’mheaded? Everywhere I look, I see people just getting on with it. Maybe Ishould just follow suit and get on with it.”

“And it’s when I’m standing there this morning, in my PJs and a hijab, next to my mum and my dad, kneeling before God, that I feel a strange sense of calm. I feel like nothing can hurt me, and nothing else matters.”

“When I am with you I feel alive, like you are the missing part of me. And when I’m not with you I can’t stand it, I literally feel lost.”