“Anyway, back to the kids.""Well, one is a girl who looks about your age, and there's a boy." She grinned as she stood. "He's a hottie."A tiny piece of egg caught in my throat. It was seriously gross to hear Mom talking about boys my age. "Hottie? Mom that's just weird.”

“Is Lisa going to the prom?"I shelved my worries for the moment. "I don't know, Mom. We don't talk about the You-Know-What. We made a pact.""You could go together, if you didn't want to mess with dates and things.""I don't want to mess with the prom at all, Mom."She ignored me, placidly eating popcorn, piece by piece. "Some girls in my high school class did that and had a wonderful time. They weren't lesbians or anything. Not that it would matter if they were.""That's nice, Mom. I'm glad you're so open-minded." I grabbed my Coke and the popcorn bowl and headed for the stairs, because I could go my whole life without ever hearing my mother talk about lesbians again."Maybe you could take Justin to the prom," she called after me, laughter in her voice. "He is such a hottie."Shoot me now.”

“No offense, but your mom is strange. She's a hit MILF, but totally off the wall."I take my hand back."Eww! Colin, you just called my mom a MILF! I'm completely grossed out!”

“Mom turned but did a double take. "Where did you get that necklace from?"I touched the pendant. "A friend.""A boy?"Yikes. "He's a friend who's a boy."Her mouth twitched in amusement and her gaze left the necklace. "First roses, and now a necklace? Are you sure Landon isn't you boyfriend?""This wasn't from him, Mom.""So you have two boyfriends?""No, Mom!" I almost shouted. "Neither of them is my boyfriend. Trust me. They're just boys who are friends. No connecting of words going on... or connecting of anything else, for that matter."She stared at me. "Hmm." Then she left my room. She was so weird sometimes.”

“This next part might cheer you up. So my mom told me she was gonna drive me to my appointment at the sperm bank, and she handed me one of my dad's Playboys--I had something way dirtier stashed in my closet, by the way--and she asked me, all serious, if I knew what do do.""You've got to be kidding.""No, I'm not." He started laughing. "I was fifteen, Anna. I was and expert at it, and I did not want to talk about jacking off with my mom.”

“You want a drink?” he (Brady) offered.“My friend’s getting one.” She gestured toward Susan, who approached.“Your date?”“My-no! No, I’m not—” God, did he think she was a lesbian? Boy, talk about seduction fail.”