“At least I don't look like a Christmas tree.""You look like the star atop the tree.”
“Am I glowing?""Like a Christmas tree.""Not just the star?"The bed moved a little, and I felt his hand brush my arm. "No. You're super bright. It's kind of like looking at the sun.”
“Jeez! I thought you said you were just gonna set up the tree? It looks like Santa shit Christmas in here!”
“If you don't like the smell of Christmas trees, get the hula girls; they smell like coconuts.”
“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.”
“If you ask a tree how he feels to know that he's spreading his fragrance and making people happy, I don't think a tree looks at it that way. I am just like that, and it is just my nature to be like this.”