“- My little brother craps himself."I laughed. "- Well, maybe it's because he's, like, only one?""- Whatever, it's still gross.”

“What are you smirking about, over there?""I'm more well-rounded than you.""Not possible. You're American," he said. "And if it is true, it's only because you like crap.”

“It's only because I've lived with brothers that I realize, after a moment, that he's not looking outside but rather inside, wrestling with something inside himself. And there's nothing for it but to wait.”

“It's also at that moment that I realize I am able to maintain the level of judgmentalness that I so cherish only because I have someone in my life who knows me so well and still manages to love me. Isn't that what love is? Knowing someone's life story and not using it against them? OK, maybe it's more like knowing someone's life story, using it against them, and still loving them.”

“I think what it is is, if you're in school and you're not that bright or good-looking or popular or whatever, and one day you say something and someone laughs, well, you sort of grab onto it, don't you? You think, well I run funny and I've got this stupid big face and big thighs and no-one fancies me, but at least I can make people laugh. And it's such a nice feeling, making someone laugh, that maybe you get a bit reliant on it. Like, if you;re not funny then you're not...anything”

“It's okay to write crap. Just don't try publishing it while it's still crap.”